Jocelyn's Other Desk

The writings of Jocelyn Smith, aspiring author, soon-to-be lawyer, once and future politician, all-around opinionated twentysomething.

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Location: Orlando, Florida, United States

I'm a lawyer in Florida, working on three novels, a screenplay, and half a dozen pieces of fanfiction at any given moment.

Monday, September 12, 2005

I Feel Unclean

Crossposted to my LiveJournal as I try to rid myself of the heebie-jeebies.

I got treated to 30 minutes of Rush Limbaugh on the taxi ride home.

So there was some problem at the Dupont Circle Metro Station (what else is new, right?) not the least of which being that the temperature down there was about 800 degrees. So, I figure I'll blow the ten bucks and hop a cab home. Into first reasonably air-conditioned cab I hop, tell nice elderly cabbie where I want to go, he even turns the a/c up a little for me as we struggle through DC afternoon traffic. Nice.

Until I become aware of this ranting voice on the radio, trashing the liberals for "false media scandals" about New Orleans, how Republicans need to buck up and prove the differences between "media reality and real reality" (yes, his words exactly), and how all the failures to rebuild are taking place in "liberal neighborhoods" because "liberals can't run things," and then it hits me...

I'm listening to the revered dulcet tones of none other than the Legendary Rush Limbaugh!

And my skin begins to crawl. So this is The Man Himself, whose name we all know, but whose voice I have seldom actually heard. (Not since that nightmare-inducing "Womb To Da Tomb" rap he did during The Great Healthcare Debate in 1994.) So, unable to bring myself to flee the cab into downtown DC in full sunlight and high temps, I listen and discover what all the fuss is about.

The following is a near-verbatim paraphrase of some of my favorite statements in this 30-minute hell voyage.

"And people are yelling racism about the response in New Orleans, and that's just the liberal media making up stories! How much of the millions of dollars donated to charities for the disaster response was earmarked 'whites only'--NOT ONE! How many white rescuers refused to rescue people off rooftops because they were black--NOT ONE!"
(Gasp!) Such proof! Yep, proof positive of absence of racism. Sure, Rush, sure.

"And those media projection reporting--you can't even really call it reporting--of 10,000 deaths and 25,000 body bags...the death toll hasn't even hit 200 yet!"
The operative word being YET, Rush-my-lad. And has it ever occurred to you what immersion in water in 90+ degree temperatures for over a week does to a dead body? Wake up and smell the decayed corpses. Many of those people will never be found, let alone identified. Many had no one to report them missing. Such is the way of poverty.

"In the French Quarter and other areas run by entrepreneurs and Republicans, the sewage system is up and running and businesses are coming back--Mardi Gras will be held next February! But in the neighborhoods run by liberals, there's very low rebuild--think about it! In areas run by liberals, rebuild is slow, if at all! Look at New York--where the World Trade Center stood, there's a pit, while liberals fight over what 'memorial' to put up--just rebuild the buildings a foot higher! A very simple solution, yet self-hating liberals are incapable of managing even that!"
Yep, "simple solution." You conservatives take care of your own, don't you? Yep, you know what's important. Businesses. Not human life, not homes.

"There's the media reality, and then there's the real reality. The media reality isn't real. Real reality is what's in America, and Americans need to realize that real reality is more real than the media reality and stop believing that the media reality is real."
Dang, Rush, what would we do if we didn't have you around to help clear THAT up?

I nearly asked the driver to change the channel, but he could barely understand me when I gave him the address. (So I'm hoping he didn't understand what that loudmouth was talking about on the radio--Rush really does do nothing but yell. The guy needs to learn to vary his tone. It's almost as bad as monotone, in a way. Instead of "Bueller?....Bueller?..." it's "BUELLER! BUELLER, DAMN IT!" nonstop.)

Anyway, I finally escaped when we returned to Gewirz. Thus ended my 30 minute visit to Rushland.

Excuse me, friends, I feel the need for a shower.
And perhaps a very stiff drink. With a side of Tums.

Conclusion: Rushie, my boy--you are SO full of shit.


Blogger The Other People said...

Whenever I think I'm too hard on the far right, I turn on Rush.


10:05 PM  

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