A Bit of Original Fiction...
I post below a quote from the historical fiction novel I'm working on. Just curious to see if anyone has any thoughts on it.
The setting: Italy, in the mountains to the northeast of Rome, during the very early rise of the Romans under Romulus.
The characters:
Paulina, our heroine, a scholar's young daughter celebrating her sixteenth birthday
Thyone, a priestess in Paulina's city
Caecilia, Paulina's younger sister
***
"Wisdom is not a thing to be found. It does not come upon a day announced, and you will not discover it by scouring the words of men in your father's scrolls. Remember that, daughter of Paulinus."
Before Paulina could manage a reply--or even determine whether or not she had been insulted--Thyone was gone.
Caecilia came up behind her then, peering over her shoulder. "What did she say?"
An unpleasant prickle went down Paulina's spine, making her shudder. "She says I am not wise."
***
Thoughts, anyone?
The setting: Italy, in the mountains to the northeast of Rome, during the very early rise of the Romans under Romulus.
The characters:
Paulina, our heroine, a scholar's young daughter celebrating her sixteenth birthday
Thyone, a priestess in Paulina's city
Caecilia, Paulina's younger sister
***
"Wisdom is not a thing to be found. It does not come upon a day announced, and you will not discover it by scouring the words of men in your father's scrolls. Remember that, daughter of Paulinus."
Before Paulina could manage a reply--or even determine whether or not she had been insulted--Thyone was gone.
Caecilia came up behind her then, peering over her shoulder. "What did she say?"
An unpleasant prickle went down Paulina's spine, making her shudder. "She says I am not wise."
***
Thoughts, anyone?
posted by Jocelyn Smith | 10:49 AM
3 Comments:
I like it! Polished prose, intriguing characters and dialogue ...
Thankee! I got hit by inspiration right after I got to work, and grabbed my notebook and scrawled it down, and thought, "Hmm, this is interesting!"
I'd been stuck on how to end the conversation between Paulina and Thyone for awhile.
That's pretty good. I'd definitely continue reading if I came across it in a book.
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