Jocelyn's Other Desk

The writings of Jocelyn Smith, aspiring author, soon-to-be lawyer, once and future politician, all-around opinionated twentysomething.

My Photo
Location: Orlando, Florida, United States

I'm a lawyer in Florida, working on three novels, a screenplay, and half a dozen pieces of fanfiction at any given moment.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Print-On-Demand Wants ME!

The following is an email I received this morning, intersparsed with my commentary...

Dear Jocelyn,
My name is T----- R-----, Marketing Manager for Xlibris Corporation, a print-on-demand self-publishing company.

We obtained your name and email address from Blogger in an effort on our part to find people who might be interested in self-publishing.

(Glaring accusingly at Blogger) Funny, although my profile says that I'm a writer, I wonder how out of all the writers-to-be who blog, they found mine! That never happened with LiveJournal. And here I thought I was getting a little more grown-up.

If you are interested, I've included a brief description of who we are
Color me incredibly NOT interested. The only self-publishing I do is fanfic.
When I go pro, I will go all the way.

I do send out follow up messages, so if you are not interested in our company or services please

click here and I will send no further correspondence. I completely understand how annoying unwanted email messages can be; if this is the case here my sincerest apologies.

Apology accepted. At least they were polite about it. As for the "clicking here", done and done.

For those who would like more information Xlibris is partially owned by Random House Ventures, the world?s largest trade book publisher. We have published over 14,000 titles and paid out over twelve million dollars in royalties.

Yeah, yeah, I know all about Random House. Hey, Lewis! Look who's putting out feelers with their vanity press to little ol' Jocelyn!

Everyday we help authors by offering flexible, inexpensive methods of publishing, editing, marketing, distributing and selling books both in trade and full color. I understand that each author has different requirements. And that is why we offer packages that are tailored to your individual needs. At Xlibris we believe in author control.

Riiiiight. (Snort!) At the moment, my "individual need" is for the hair on the back of my neck to stop standing up.

If you would like to find out more about us, visit our website or email us at Or better yet call us at 1-888-795-4274 -- we are open 24/7. Be sure to ask your publishing consultant for a free publishing kit and book sample when you call. You can also order a publishing kit online by clicking here. I thank you very much for your time and look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks, but no thanks, Madame. I may be a never-before-published, hasn't-finished-first-novel-yet law student dweeb, but I have my pride. I'll publish my original stories for free on (sister site of, where my fanfic is posted) before I pay a red cent to some print-on-demand racket.


Post a Comment

<< Home